Friday, August 26, 2011

Jang Multimedia

Jang Multimedia

Friday, February 11, 2011

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on The same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting Done "At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided , I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means " Well I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble "
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every Mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Neighbour has it
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything" ;
and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
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A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
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Girlfriends are like CHOCOLATES, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead - should be buried or Cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
The other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your Life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second Woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the Same offence
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Lady to her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! You are just saying that to make me jealous!"
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Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said,
"I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

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